I know I have not been adding to the blog lately. However, I have been going through some changes lately. The changes can be hard to describe.
I had to learn how to handle my mothers new routines as she is getting older. Also I had a similar process with my dad. Yet when I figured it out, I was not myself. Someway I had to communicate that I wanted to know what was planned for my future. When I asked; I got the response “do not worry about it, because it is far down the road.” or “only you can pick yourself up and handle it.”
Yet these answers kept me lost at what I am to do. I now am meeting with a therapist who helps me be aware of where I am at, and what to do about it.
When I explained to my parents what was happening, they thought I was making excuses or not wanting to try. That makes me scared to speak to them about my problems. I am trapped because they answer questions from how they we're raised. So now I am asking my brothers more, because they are more where I am at. Basically, all I am asking for is honest answers about planning for my future.