A Snapshot of my Life

A Snapshot of my Life

In the past couple of months, I experienced somebody being negative at work. This person was on the cell phone talking about people with Special Needs (SN). He was saying cruel things that are ignorant and cussing. I am a bagger at a grocery store and while I was bagging this person was constantly talking while I worked, and he paid at the register. My staff encouraged me to remain quiet while he was there. All of his ignorant and cussing statements were hurtful and made me realize I can't help everybody but I can do my best to help myself. I remained quiet, did not look him in the eyes, and smiled while I did my job. After the guy left my staff said it took a lot of bravery to ignore him. This experience made me wonder why I exist and made me feel some people are selfish. It was frustrating for me that my job says the customer is always right. It is hard to believe there are still ignorant people.

Also I in the past have mentioned that I am epileptic and have learning struggles. In the past few weeks I got too much stress on me and started feeling and acting crazy. I lost my balance and fell, my nerves tensed up and I could not move my muscles. As it was happening: I heard a person say I looked like I was begging for attention and being crazy. It was a stress or anxiety attack. I was hurt emotionally from people thinking I was looking crazy, because it is a real process. I am like not everything is what it looks like. It seems like some people are selfish.

I said last time we need to turn the page and try a new way to help people with SN get moving forward. Yes we need to learn their struggles, but when disciplining them: we can focus on the struggles to a degree. We should reinforce them to work on their strengths, talents, abilities, and qualities while they work on their growth. This way they'll learn how to cope with stress and anxiety more quickly. This is what we want for them. I know it can be done.

A new year.

           I know in the past when it comes to people with SN {Special Needs} we have focused on what their needs are. Such as: living skills, school work, speech, health, etc. So parents-teachers, etc. encourage people with SN to focus on taking care of themselves, and to work on their needs. But not encouraging them to focus on their strengths. 

           We are in the 20th century now. Maybe it is time to focus on the new technology that has been discovered. I have noticed getting them to focus on their needs and health only – makes people with SN often feel they often have to improve. Parents-teachers, etc. should also recognize their strengths:  such as {talents, abilities, qualities, perspectives of what is happening, etc.}. So as a community – all should work on accepting their needs and {while disciplining then as well as encouraging them to go forward} and reinforcing them to use their strengths while growing up. You parents-teachers, etc. might be amazed at how they feel more positive about who they are, and maybe they will open up about themselves. 

Learning who you are...

I am only 1 person of many people who has a mental problem in learning because of some kind of illness. I have epilepsy, and a Receptive Language challenge.

            • An example of my learning problem is conversation. If I do not understand the first sentence – I automatically think of questions to ask about the sentence. While I am thinking though, the person keeps going on – thinking I am listening. So then I miss the whole purpose of the conversation often. So while this person is going on, I try to ask questions but the person gets mad when I behave confused. Then frustration gets involved and messes up the whole purpose. People like me are considered a Special Needs (SN) person.

             

            So people with SN feels like nobody wants to hear the questions, or to answer the questions. Then often people with SN do not open up, because they are afraid of how people will react. The problem is not – the person with SN have too many issues and are lazy. Also the problem is not – people do not to want to hear or answer the questions. The problem is that not as many people are patient to take time to listen or explain the answers. That is the hardest fact that people with SN have to notice daily. Because of that fact – people with SN see many people going on in life, but they feel they are in outer space mentally or emotionally. It all is due to the lack of people not wanting to answer or explain the small questions they have leading to their dreams.

            •Another example is asking a question like "What are we doing today?" You with SN get told nothing today. You say I want to go to the store. They say why not tomorrow? Now you are scared. So you say you need some time alone. Then they take you in a frustrated mood. Then you feel your opinions and wants do not matter, and you ask yourself why do I try at all?  Yet you are only trying to say I need space from everyone.

           When I am alone – first I figure out what is making me scared and afraid of life? Then I have to write down a list of what is scaring me. Second (like a puzzle) I have to organize the list and create a picture of what is going on with me. Last I have to look at the answer and somehow figure out why it is this way (it is called analyzing). I often believe people do not understand my way of learning. That means they do not see when I am often feeling rejected while I am on the step of asking questions. So I have to explain myself to them. But when I try to explain – they say "Oh forget about it". 

I hate that answer because I still feel scared and confused.                                                                                                                                   

            Now from these articles, I am trying to say it works both ways. I was disciplined where I was not always focusing on my strengths. Yet I wish I had, because   I did not take my life more seriously until I was in my thirties before I noticed more of my talents, strengths, and abilities. People with SN focus on having  their talents, strengths, and abilities. Not on a degree or scholarship. It is important to with a SN child – encourage them to focus on their talents, strengths, and abilities as early as possible in life. The sooner they work on their talents, strengths, and abilities – the sooner they will know their dreams and passion. Last sooner they will become confident about their life.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I know parents who have children with SN want them to be able to feel confident to go on with their life. So I recommend we work on them through discipline and encouragement to get them to be using their talents, strengths, and abilities – so they learn their qualities in life.

How it all began...

...and where I am today.

I got noticed for epilepsy and a mental disability when I was 2 years old. 

I went through childhood with an articulate voice and could describe what people felt like, and had medicine through childhood. Then at 20 years old, I went to a school that helped people to live independently. I was there for 2-4 years. I lived in apartments for a few years, then eventually started at The Center For Independent Futures. I was 43-44 years old then. 

Between 44-45 years old my behavior started changing on me. I was getting scared to go places, and was acting in other crazy ways. So I went to a private doctor to check out my meds. He said my meds were off balance and needed to get them sorted out. 

So we had me go through surgery [which was scary], to put in a Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS) inside of me. It is near my heart. I have been behaving better since I had it. My meds have been decreased a few times also. 

At age 46: I am behaving a lot better and feel more myself since I had the VNS. I am glad we did the surgery.

Getting out of depression

       Depression is a serious negative way of  thinking and feeling. People can get depressed in different ways. Examples are being more tired, being sad, not as hungry, feeling lonely, suicidal, having trouble getting out of bed in the morning or not making plans for the day. So this is a serious issue that requires more effort and work.

       If you meet a troubled person who is also depressed it is important to help them focus on their wants so you can get an idea of their strengths, abilities and thoughts on living. For example: I like to chat when I become depressed because it gets my thoughts out and makes me more energetic. So guiding these people to do things related to their strengths can help them enjoy life and move out of depression. It can be stressful to encourage and guide others because it takes more time, and they do not always listen. But it is important for them to have this supportive help so they can have a fulfilling life.

      

Education Support

Now that school has come, it is time for homework. Lately it seems more school kids may have too much homework. It can be hard for kids in regular school to tell that they have too much homework. So imagine how hard it is for troubled students to speak up when they get too much homework.

When you have to put troubled people in special classes, it can be hard to find the correct help. Also we need to help them at home. It is easy to keep reminding them to work on their hard problems, but after doing that for awhile, it can cause them to get worried and depressed.

When it comes to troubled students it takes effort and reinforcement. Also, we as parents have to accept the level they are at because that is how God gave them to you. When we help troubled students, we need to study their abilities, and qualities so when they mention their troubles; we need to empathize and encourage them to realize the students have abilities and qualities they can use while handling their troubles. Also it takes a lot of reinforcing the students to use their abilities and qualities because those abilities and qualities are the key to getting them motivated.                                                                                      

I can't imagine how hard it is disciplining, encouraging, and reinforcing your troubled child to go forward in life with their abilities. We can't blame the stress as a reason to give up. We can always get a new car but we can't bring back a life. Encouraging them helps them have a fulfilling life.                            

Ending Summer

Summer went by fast.

School is coming back.

This is a time to do important last minute stuff with your friends and family. Then also gathering school supplies together. Be sure you know the location of where your school is and that you register early so you can get in more likely. Also this is the time in your life to explore what you want in life, such as where you want to go to school, or what down the road you want to aim for yourself. 

I went to a program called P.A.C.E. at 20 yrs old. P.A.C.E. is a school to train independent living skills, to people with special needs. Until I went to P.A.C.E., I always talked in an articulate way, but never knew why. I am often able to express my feelings and understand why others feel the way they do. P.A.C.E. showed me I am like that because I was trying to ask or say “How can I express myself?” 

P.A.C.E. taught me that before I do anything, I focus too much on the possible consequences of things. I become too scared to express my ideas because I am afraid of how people might react.  Which causes me to over-think and miss out on doing activities. Also I do not understand when I can express myself. For example I do not understand when is a good time to ask someone if they want to get together with me.

But nobody ever said life was easy!

Until next time,

Alyssa :-)