Changes Never Leave

As I said in my last blog post:  isolation is the hardest everyday experience. The question is not, "Why does isolation always get in our way?" The question is, "How do we control isolation?" Isolation is always going to be in our life. Did you hear of the expression, "We take risks as we Change."? 

     

It has been known that 75% percent of the time we keep moving, and do not often stop to think of where we are at? There is an expression called, "What is on our table?" Then we take a deep breath and start to write a list to try to get our priorities in order. We seem to be on our computers or cell phones about 75% of the time. 

    

When we ask ourselves where we are at, we need to think of things like:  1) the bills we owe, 2) our grocery list, 3) our children (are they happy, are they growing well, etc.?), 4) dinner, and 5) bed time. Our thoughts are important , yet it is important to spend enough time with our children.

We need to train on how much time we do what is on our table. This is a list, in order of importance to me:  1) Our children; 2) dinner with family; 3) bed time - do we get enough sleep?; 4) paying our bills; 5) grocery shopping; and 6) we also need to set boundaries on our cell phones and computers.

Until next time...

Alyssa

Changes

     Well, it's 2017, another year. From working out the changes I have had to for my future, such as:  Who is helping you feel supported?, What am I to do when today's supports is dying on me, and I need to make plans for a new support system? I notice a good amount of isolation goes on. This is related to the legend "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." Isolation can cause fear, anger, frustration, etc., which is what happens to everybody, special  needs or not. But, people with special needs often take longer to get over isolation.

     What causes isolation? The easiest way to put it is:  everyday small things that are out of our control , that are in our way, and need to be done. Example:  eating, paying bills, feeding ourselves and family, schooling, etc. After doing it for a while, we get so caught up in doing the small stuff that we take it for granted and we often don't want to deal with change. Yet there is always going to be change. We need to train ourselves when we can set aside, or draw a line on the small stuff that we can't control. This is where the legend "Patience is a Virtue" comes in. Because society has become too much like, "well, we can fix it on the computer or, check on the phone or, I can fix it quickly. Now everybody has an attitude of wanting to finish things quickly and go off to the next thing. We're losing people who want to reinforce, motivate, encourage, guide, and are to people who are more dependent on the computer or cell phones. I found my personal isolation comes from taking everything too literally.

     American English is the only language where 75% of the words have more than one meaning. You see, people, especially people who have special needs, all have a best perspective and a worst perspective on life. We consider the best perspective is a gift from God. God wants us to keep the best perspective all of our life. By best perspective and worst perspective, I really mean their best strengths, abilities, talents, understanding level, etc. The best perspective is often considered their passion for life. My brother, through a documentary, has convinced me that my passion is to advocate.

     Today's society has proven that we need to train ourselves that the computer and cell phones are not the answer to everything. It is great that somebody has offered a quicker way to handle pressure, but it can't take over other responsibilities that take more work. It is 2017 now; in the year 1970, the case of people with special needs was a big question on how to handle it, and over time until 2017, we have learned a lot of technology that's new and can be a better help for people with special needs. This is why I say it's time to turn the page and move forward. We need to start focusing on taking more time on reinforcing, motivating, encouraging, guiding, etc., to help people, especially those with special needs, to see the positive side to things in their lives. The positive side of things helps people from getting caught in isolation. Seeing more good, more truth, more positive, helps people, especially people with special needs, to gain confidence and to move forward in life.

Until next time...

Alyssa

 

Moving On

I have been working on catching up on my sleep lately, and that is why it's been awhile since my last post. I had the experience of talking to many students who are studying to become teachers at Loyola Marymount University in L.A. in November. My brother told me there might be other schools that would like me to speak also.

For the past few months I have been learning about family changes that will affect my future, and that can get very stressful for me. Coping with change and stress is hard if you do not keep up with it. I have to realize that my support system may be changing, and it is hard for me to talk about it.

I feel it's important for people who have challenges to start making plans for their future ahead of time so you can keep up with how you are doing regularly. That is why it is important to stay focused on the positive sides our your life. Then you will see less negativity.

Being positive keeps us stronger. I believe in encouraging people with challenges to learn about their talents, strengths, abilities, and qualities that will help them in life. But, it is also about teamwork, where we responsibly share the positive sides of life. Then we pray that people can learn to see who they are for themselves and to enjoy life.

Hello from California

Hi from California.

I had fun with my brother and he invited me and everything. I enjoyed being here for vacation and for speaking. I will be back here in time and hope that this has been helpful for you too.

 

 Here I am at California State University Dominguez Hills with my hosts the Special Education Department.

Until next time,

Alyssa

 

Los Angeles here I come...again!

Hi again.

I will be traveling to Los Angeles in November to visit my brother Greg. While I am there we will screen my movie three times for educators and students at Loyola Marymount University and at California State University Dominguez Hills. I am very excited. It has been a while since I have done this.

Here is a flyer about one of the movie nights.

I will write more from California.

Until next time. Alyssa.

Less Stress and More Confidence in Handling Reality

After I started therapy sessions, I had been doing better. It helped me learn how to handle my struggles and notice the differences in my parents and in my future plans. The therapist helps me speak about stressful issues. After I settled down about my parents and future another struggle came along. My boyfriend was having personal problems and it started getting worse. He was diagnosed with a medical issue. He is working forward on his issue.

I was told to try Psychodrama Therapy. I found a flyer about psychodrama therapy and decided to be brave and try it. It is offered in Evanston at the Unitarian church. There are different people and there is a different number of people every time. There is a $20.00 charge every time. I started to take it, and it helped me a lot.

 Every time at the beginning of the class, people introduce themselves and talk about their problems. Then they vote on what problems to role play. The session is to role play out frustrations you get from the problem chosen. Everyone participates in the role play and it gives you a different way to express all your feelings. It helped me to learn how to handle my boyfriends problems. Then my boyfriends problem became easier to handle. I am amazed at how role playing is such a helpful tool. So I joined the group. It is a different way to open yourself up, gain confidence and to reinforce yourself to work harder toward reality.

Changes Got in the Way of My Daily Life Routine

I know I have not been adding to the blog lately. However, I have been going through some changes lately. The changes can be hard to describe.

I had to learn how to handle my mothers new routines as she is getting older. Also I had a similar process with my dad. Yet when I figured it out, I was not myself. Someway I had to communicate that I wanted to know what was planned for my future. When I asked; I got the response “do not worry about it, because it is far down the road.” or “only you can pick yourself up and handle it.”

Yet these answers kept me lost at what I am to do. I now am meeting with a therapist who helps me be aware of where I am at, and what to do about it.

 When I explained to my parents what was happening, they thought I was making excuses or not wanting to try. That makes me scared to speak to them about my problems. I am trapped because they answer questions from how they we're raised. So now I am asking my brothers more, because they are more where I am at. Basically, all I am asking for is honest answers about planning for my future.

Speak your Truth even when your voice is shaking.

Speak your Truth even when your voice is shaking.

 My parents are getting older and it is hard to train myself to accept that their energy is not the same as it use to be. I wish my parents could accept what I say and realize it is my reality, and that it is hard to express when I need extra help. I admit that I do not put my foot down enough because I am afraid of how people will react towards me. I do not want to hurt others. That is especially hard for people with S N (Special Needs) to admit what they are going through. Also it is hard for them to express it. A lot of times people with S N express their anger in a dangerous way because they do not know any better. I am grateful that I know how to express my frustrations, but I am scared about when to express them as well as to whom. This is why I believe it is time to turn the page on helping people with S N. It is time to get past thinking about what they can not do, and think about what they can do. For example; yes your friend can ride her bike around, that is great. I know you want to do that. But you can not walk, so what do you have to move around? You have your wheelchair. It may take longer, but you eventually get there. This is the positive kind of reinforcement people with S N need. They need to be reminded of their strengths and abilities and what they can use from what they have. Also the more they get the reinforcement and help, eventually they are going to see more of what they can do for themselves and others. We are aiming for them to do things for themselves, I would have benefited from that kind of reinforcement when I was a child. I could have expressed my needs better and felt I was being heard. Everyone just wants to be heard. Lastly, that would have made it easier for me to handle what I am going through.

A Snapshot of my Life

A Snapshot of my Life

In the past couple of months, I experienced somebody being negative at work. This person was on the cell phone talking about people with Special Needs (SN). He was saying cruel things that are ignorant and cussing. I am a bagger at a grocery store and while I was bagging this person was constantly talking while I worked, and he paid at the register. My staff encouraged me to remain quiet while he was there. All of his ignorant and cussing statements were hurtful and made me realize I can't help everybody but I can do my best to help myself. I remained quiet, did not look him in the eyes, and smiled while I did my job. After the guy left my staff said it took a lot of bravery to ignore him. This experience made me wonder why I exist and made me feel some people are selfish. It was frustrating for me that my job says the customer is always right. It is hard to believe there are still ignorant people.

Also I in the past have mentioned that I am epileptic and have learning struggles. In the past few weeks I got too much stress on me and started feeling and acting crazy. I lost my balance and fell, my nerves tensed up and I could not move my muscles. As it was happening: I heard a person say I looked like I was begging for attention and being crazy. It was a stress or anxiety attack. I was hurt emotionally from people thinking I was looking crazy, because it is a real process. I am like not everything is what it looks like. It seems like some people are selfish.

I said last time we need to turn the page and try a new way to help people with SN get moving forward. Yes we need to learn their struggles, but when disciplining them: we can focus on the struggles to a degree. We should reinforce them to work on their strengths, talents, abilities, and qualities while they work on their growth. This way they'll learn how to cope with stress and anxiety more quickly. This is what we want for them. I know it can be done.

A new year.

           I know in the past when it comes to people with SN {Special Needs} we have focused on what their needs are. Such as: living skills, school work, speech, health, etc. So parents-teachers, etc. encourage people with SN to focus on taking care of themselves, and to work on their needs. But not encouraging them to focus on their strengths. 

           We are in the 20th century now. Maybe it is time to focus on the new technology that has been discovered. I have noticed getting them to focus on their needs and health only – makes people with SN often feel they often have to improve. Parents-teachers, etc. should also recognize their strengths:  such as {talents, abilities, qualities, perspectives of what is happening, etc.}. So as a community – all should work on accepting their needs and {while disciplining then as well as encouraging them to go forward} and reinforcing them to use their strengths while growing up. You parents-teachers, etc. might be amazed at how they feel more positive about who they are, and maybe they will open up about themselves. 

Learning who you are...

I am only 1 person of many people who has a mental problem in learning because of some kind of illness. I have epilepsy, and a Receptive Language challenge.

            • An example of my learning problem is conversation. If I do not understand the first sentence – I automatically think of questions to ask about the sentence. While I am thinking though, the person keeps going on – thinking I am listening. So then I miss the whole purpose of the conversation often. So while this person is going on, I try to ask questions but the person gets mad when I behave confused. Then frustration gets involved and messes up the whole purpose. People like me are considered a Special Needs (SN) person.

             

            So people with SN feels like nobody wants to hear the questions, or to answer the questions. Then often people with SN do not open up, because they are afraid of how people will react. The problem is not – the person with SN have too many issues and are lazy. Also the problem is not – people do not to want to hear or answer the questions. The problem is that not as many people are patient to take time to listen or explain the answers. That is the hardest fact that people with SN have to notice daily. Because of that fact – people with SN see many people going on in life, but they feel they are in outer space mentally or emotionally. It all is due to the lack of people not wanting to answer or explain the small questions they have leading to their dreams.

            •Another example is asking a question like "What are we doing today?" You with SN get told nothing today. You say I want to go to the store. They say why not tomorrow? Now you are scared. So you say you need some time alone. Then they take you in a frustrated mood. Then you feel your opinions and wants do not matter, and you ask yourself why do I try at all?  Yet you are only trying to say I need space from everyone.

           When I am alone – first I figure out what is making me scared and afraid of life? Then I have to write down a list of what is scaring me. Second (like a puzzle) I have to organize the list and create a picture of what is going on with me. Last I have to look at the answer and somehow figure out why it is this way (it is called analyzing). I often believe people do not understand my way of learning. That means they do not see when I am often feeling rejected while I am on the step of asking questions. So I have to explain myself to them. But when I try to explain – they say "Oh forget about it". 

I hate that answer because I still feel scared and confused.                                                                                                                                   

            Now from these articles, I am trying to say it works both ways. I was disciplined where I was not always focusing on my strengths. Yet I wish I had, because   I did not take my life more seriously until I was in my thirties before I noticed more of my talents, strengths, and abilities. People with SN focus on having  their talents, strengths, and abilities. Not on a degree or scholarship. It is important to with a SN child – encourage them to focus on their talents, strengths, and abilities as early as possible in life. The sooner they work on their talents, strengths, and abilities – the sooner they will know their dreams and passion. Last sooner they will become confident about their life.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I know parents who have children with SN want them to be able to feel confident to go on with their life. So I recommend we work on them through discipline and encouragement to get them to be using their talents, strengths, and abilities – so they learn their qualities in life.

How it all began...

...and where I am today.

I got noticed for epilepsy and a mental disability when I was 2 years old. 

I went through childhood with an articulate voice and could describe what people felt like, and had medicine through childhood. Then at 20 years old, I went to a school that helped people to live independently. I was there for 2-4 years. I lived in apartments for a few years, then eventually started at The Center For Independent Futures. I was 43-44 years old then. 

Between 44-45 years old my behavior started changing on me. I was getting scared to go places, and was acting in other crazy ways. So I went to a private doctor to check out my meds. He said my meds were off balance and needed to get them sorted out. 

So we had me go through surgery [which was scary], to put in a Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS) inside of me. It is near my heart. I have been behaving better since I had it. My meds have been decreased a few times also. 

At age 46: I am behaving a lot better and feel more myself since I had the VNS. I am glad we did the surgery.

Getting out of depression

       Depression is a serious negative way of  thinking and feeling. People can get depressed in different ways. Examples are being more tired, being sad, not as hungry, feeling lonely, suicidal, having trouble getting out of bed in the morning or not making plans for the day. So this is a serious issue that requires more effort and work.

       If you meet a troubled person who is also depressed it is important to help them focus on their wants so you can get an idea of their strengths, abilities and thoughts on living. For example: I like to chat when I become depressed because it gets my thoughts out and makes me more energetic. So guiding these people to do things related to their strengths can help them enjoy life and move out of depression. It can be stressful to encourage and guide others because it takes more time, and they do not always listen. But it is important for them to have this supportive help so they can have a fulfilling life.

      

Education Support

Now that school has come, it is time for homework. Lately it seems more school kids may have too much homework. It can be hard for kids in regular school to tell that they have too much homework. So imagine how hard it is for troubled students to speak up when they get too much homework.

When you have to put troubled people in special classes, it can be hard to find the correct help. Also we need to help them at home. It is easy to keep reminding them to work on their hard problems, but after doing that for awhile, it can cause them to get worried and depressed.

When it comes to troubled students it takes effort and reinforcement. Also, we as parents have to accept the level they are at because that is how God gave them to you. When we help troubled students, we need to study their abilities, and qualities so when they mention their troubles; we need to empathize and encourage them to realize the students have abilities and qualities they can use while handling their troubles. Also it takes a lot of reinforcing the students to use their abilities and qualities because those abilities and qualities are the key to getting them motivated.                                                                                      

I can't imagine how hard it is disciplining, encouraging, and reinforcing your troubled child to go forward in life with their abilities. We can't blame the stress as a reason to give up. We can always get a new car but we can't bring back a life. Encouraging them helps them have a fulfilling life.                            

Ending Summer

Summer went by fast.

School is coming back.

This is a time to do important last minute stuff with your friends and family. Then also gathering school supplies together. Be sure you know the location of where your school is and that you register early so you can get in more likely. Also this is the time in your life to explore what you want in life, such as where you want to go to school, or what down the road you want to aim for yourself. 

I went to a program called P.A.C.E. at 20 yrs old. P.A.C.E. is a school to train independent living skills, to people with special needs. Until I went to P.A.C.E., I always talked in an articulate way, but never knew why. I am often able to express my feelings and understand why others feel the way they do. P.A.C.E. showed me I am like that because I was trying to ask or say “How can I express myself?” 

P.A.C.E. taught me that before I do anything, I focus too much on the possible consequences of things. I become too scared to express my ideas because I am afraid of how people might react.  Which causes me to over-think and miss out on doing activities. Also I do not understand when I can express myself. For example I do not understand when is a good time to ask someone if they want to get together with me.

But nobody ever said life was easy!

Until next time,

Alyssa :-)

 

Independence

Well, Independence Day is coming, and I am learning about more experiences.

One being I got a new computer. I grew up without a computer, so this is a challenge for me. Yet the nice thing is, I can be more able to learn and use it more on my own. Independence is a valuable tool, so we should use as much as we can for having a safe life.

So on independence day, we are celebrating for everyone who fought for our country and ourselves. It is easy to take things for granted, but sometimes we have to stop and enjoy what we have because we live only once. Life is all about being independent, and on the Fourth of July is how we celebrate having independence in our lives.

I am watching the fire works. The colors make me laugh with joy.

Graduation Time

Hello,
 

Well now graduation time for 2014 is here, and we can make plans around the weather it seems. 

 

I know that it is an exciting time, because graduates can make future plans. When doing future plans, it means thinking about what we want to have in life. One important thing is finding about where a high school graduate wants to go to school. They need to research about the school, and figure out if it is what they are hoping for and decide if they want to go to the school. 

 

Then also part of graduation is knowing what to study. it should be a decision related to the graduates interests. When making decisions, it can seem more exciting at times then we think. We have to look at alot of ifs while making decisions. It is also where are we going to want to live, as well as being able to get around the neighborhood. Also is it a safe neighborhood is important. That is because some places can be more dangerous then others. 

Until next time...

Alyssa

Moving On

I, Alyssa Ruzzin, have been sharing experiences with you about my life. 

Now I feel it is time to ask other people to share their stories also. 

Because I am only 1 person, I can not share all the other kind of stories there are out there. I believe the more stories we share, the better we will be at getting people to realize that having a disability is important to take care of, and that they are not all fun and games. Often we get seen as just wanting attention, but we are not. That is what rattles the boat. in today's society being disciplined is not used as much. 

So we need to encourage people to be more aware. I hope to get more people involved because that will open a road up to doing more to support epilepsy. With more support, hopefully we can have more healthy people.

Then they can pass on more stories towards handling epilepsy.

Until next time…

Alyssa

Conference Time!

Hello from Los Angeles. 

Over the weekend I was invited to participate in the GLOBAL SUMMIT ON THE EDUCATION OF INDIVIDUALS WITH DISABILITIES at Loyola Marymount University, where my brother Greg is a professor. 

While I was there I participated on a panel called "Changing our Mindset" with Jane Doyle from the Center for Independent Futures.  People asked questions about what schools can do to help individuals with disabilities. Someone even asked me if sometimes I feel like I live in a different world than they do. I said “yes!”.  Epilepsy has a lot of side effects that you may not experience, and you often end up losing a lot of sleep and the world goes on and on without you.  And then I have to ask a lot of questions about what’s happening. Inconsiderate answers hurt more than being told you are not able to drive! 

I had the opportunity to meet former U.S. Congressman Tony Coelho, one of the primary authors of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Meeting Tony has helped me realize that it’s not just me who does a lot of struggling. Many people struggle. He made me realize that people not opening up about their struggles often comes from the fear of other people’s reactions. He expressed how he had to create a law so that EVERYONE can work, not just people without a disability.

The experience has made me realize that our society is losing touch with people with disabilities because everyone is on their phones and computers all the time. I often feel left behind, like I am still at step five (where I have been all along), while you are now on step twelve.

Being invited to speak was quite an honor for me and I met lots of wonderful people. I hope I can speak on more panels in the future.

Until next time, don't be too hard on yourself.

 

Alyssa

Family Gatherings

I am going to be seeing both of my brothers this Christmas when my family gets together in sunny California. 

I visited my oldest brother and his family at their house in Colorado this past summer. His two children are very different from my other brother's son, in that they are a few years older, and much more active. 

I am wondering how the commotion of my three young nephews is going to affect me since having my surgery. I am sure they may be curious about my surgery, and I am not sure I will be able to answer their questions. I like speaking in front of groups to tell my life story, but I am not sure how to talk to very young children about it. So I guess I am saying that we need to be careful what we tell our family members, and how we tell them about what is going on in our lives. Everyone has their own doings, and wants, but we can only speak of our own experiences; we can’t speak for everyone. I know that mid-way through you life it becomes harder, because you have more people in your family. You should never be ashamed to ask for help if you need it, that’s one of the things family is about. 

I wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, and a happy new year!

Until next time…

Alyssa